Futility

Does anyone else ever grow tired of the futility of life? For some reason lately, I've grown to resent that every week I have more laundry to do if I want to wear clean clothes, more groceries to buy if I want fresh food, more cleaning to do if I want to have a sanitary home, and more work to do if I want to keep earning money to pay for all that stuff I keep needing. And I don't even have to do that for a whole family! (although my boyfriend is here often enough that it feels like I'm constantly cooking for/cleaning up after him).

Maybe this is being brought up because I've been home grading papers, inputting grades, cleaning, doing laundry, and whatnot while my boyfriend has gone to a gunshow to buy a shotgun (I told him he was stupid, but he's always wanted to go hunting), spent most of Sunday golfing (which is probably in his top-ten list of things to do), has joined a softball team, and is going dove hunting. Why does he get to have all the fun while I've been working?! Anyway, I get a four-day weekend soon and he doesn't, so I have to think of some really fun stuff to do while he's working to even the score! :-P

Oh yeah, and I have that whole summer thing off... Somehow I always forget about that. I'll be happy with life again when that comes back around! For now, I think I'll go read Ecclesiastes!

Bad Blogger... Don't Judge!

So I'm a bad blogger, I'll admit it. This blog hasn't changed any since I set it up... Whenever that was. But can I say that I do a lot of things online and technology-wise for school and I kind-of forget about the blog when I'm caught up in the midst of it all? I was just looking at my friends' blogs (Kayla's in particular) and thinking about how ridiculously cute they are and how they seem to be updated a lot. I don't even know how to do most of the stuff required to make a blog cute.

But my excuse is that I'm figuring out all this technology stuff for school without much help, then I'm too tired from it to play around with it at home. I make lessons for a classroom remote-control feedback system, set up accounts for each of my students for the math textbook online, set up online ordering for Scholastic book orders, create computer lessons and online scavenger hunts, maintain an interactive classroom website, set up an online spelling practice page for my entire team, find online videos to stream and show on my classroom projector, and I hope that shows that I'm not a total technology dunce. I can do stuff, I just get burnt out and don't do it for my poor, neglected little blog. And in the summer I'm too busy playing and sleeping to remember to do anything responsible! ;-)

So there are my excuses. Please accept them and don't judge me for my boring, old blog!

Moving

Can I vent about how much I hate moving? I take that as a yes...

I am getting more and more OCD (yes, I know you college friends probably find it hard to believe), and I can't stand having things out of place or not knowing where they are. That being said, moving is extremely difficult on my mental health. Also, I'm not very strong, so as I move things, I tend to use my whole body and end up with sore muscles and bruises all over. Therefore, moving is not so great for my physical health either.

So two weeks ago I spend some time on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday helping my good friend Erin move. She's helped me several times, so I had no problem with it. Except the chaos. Stuff was everywhere and I had to strain pretty hard to not develop some kind of muscle twitch. I was helping her pack the old place, and I had to crawl all over random things. I'm aware that most of the world packs that way. I, however, do not. I do one or two boxes at a time, and keep them pushed aside so they don't stand in the way of anything else. Then I have to stack them in a corner so I cna pretend not to notice them. And even then I'm more prone to emotional episodes due to how out of control things get.

That Friday night after my boyfriend got off work, he had to start moving. He, of course, hadn't packed a single thing. So I ended up packing a lot of his stuff and helping him move all but the heavist of it. His move continued until Sunday. That makes 5 days in a row of moving (not constant moving, but still the chaos of it all).

So this past week, I spent time packing up my apartment for my move starting tomorrow. I also finally got to go into my classroom, which I have to UNpack from getting new flooring. And there was no A/C at school, plus everything was covered in a fine layer of concrete dust (don't ask). Oh, and did I mention that all of the furniture was stacked on top of other furniture, plus some of the bottom layers were glued to the ground because of the clear coat on top of the tile? Several bruises appeared from me trying to move a large table, bookshelf, and refridgerator off of heights by myself.

Suffice it to say, I'm sick and tired of moving and I haven't even picked up the key to my new apartment! But the boyfriend did help me move a lot of stuff into his truck tonight and tomorrow I'll get my key and take little stuff over. Then Thursday I've hired movers for all my big furniture (thankfully, Erin had too) because there is no way I could get that myself. But they charge by the hour so I'll be spending several hours myself (and getting Erin and Josh to help in the evening) moving stuff in so I don't have to spend as much money.

After all this, I've concluded that I either need to never move again or let go of many of my material items.... I think we all know which one of those I'm most likely to choose! ;-)

Pray for Bethany

One of our close family friends, Bethany (the motorcycle-riding Marilyn Monroe impersonator/actress), is in need of prayers. Last week she and her fiance were riding their motorcycles from Dallas up to Maine to visit my grandparents and get married up there. However, her fiance was in an accident and died. Not only does she have to deal with the pain of losing the person she loved right before they were supposed to be married, but she might lose her home too. They lived together, but his daughters are inheriting the house, and they have always hated her. So they're probably going to kick her out as soon as they can. So I don't know what to do for this poor woman except pray. God will be the best comforter she can have.

Opposites attract

For lack of a better topic to blog about, I've decided to list the ways my boyfriend and I are completely opposite.

1. the most obvious: I'm a girl; he's a boy
2. I multi-task almost constantly; he is a single-tasker (even down to eating only one type of food at a time)
3. I speak very rapidly in a high-pitch; he speaks slowly in a very deep voice
4. I listen to all music EXCEPT country; he loves country, even to the point of singing the same line from a country song over and over and over again
5. I am have no athletic ability and therefore dislike all sports; he loves to play and/or watch basketball, football, golf, baseball... get the point?
6. I go to bed early and wake up early; he likes to stay up and then sleep in really late
7. I believe that if you're not early somewhere, you're late; he believes that if you get somewhere before it's all over, you're on time
8. I like to eat snacks or small meals every few hours; he eats 2 or 3 big meals a day
9. I don't like thinking about politics or whatever is on the news much; he loves watching the news and debating politics
10. I can't remember numbers or statistics for anything; he knows the stats for everything
11. I like to cook my own food; his cooking seems to be limited to making PB&J sandwiches
12. I'm a little (well, maybe a lot) high-strung; he's ridiculously laid back
13. I find memorizing and studying facts equivalent to Chinese water torture; he wants to go to medical school (where he'll be studying almost every waking minute he's not in class for several years)
14. I'm a daddy's girl; he is much closer to his mom than his dad
15. I do laundry and go grocery shopping at least once a week so I don't run out of clean clothes or food; Sunday I did 3 loads of his laundry (including all 30-something pairs of his white socks), and he had no food or toilet paper in his apt

So what they say is true, opposites attract!

mail-order spouses

OK, so I tease my boyfriend about getting a mail-order bride if he wants someone to just grocery shop, cook, and clean for him without expecting anything back. Then, I'll get to do the fun stuff with him and not worry about all the mundane homemaker tasks all the time.

I've recently found an apartment to live in and now I'm going through the pain of trying to find the best deal on electric companies, internet, cable, etc that are available in our area. Today I spent a long time on the phone with AT&T trying to figure out if I could get off my parents' family plan for wireless and bundle that with internet and cable at my new place. I spoke to 3 different people. When I got to the person, I'd tell them exactly what I expected and they'd say they'd connect me to the right person to help me. Only they wouldn't. I'd have to talk to the computer, which of course, didn't offer what I needed as an option and kept telling me to only choose one of the options it was giving me. I've decided that figuring out this stuff and talking to customer service people is one of the worst possible things for me to do. After only 15 minutes on the phone, a nice lady (who I flat out begged to please not transfer me to anyone else and just give me an answer) who told me that I couldn't even get AT&T cable in my area. I proceded to thank her for her help, hang up the phone, and fall from the couch to the floor groaning in frustration and agony.

Perhaps I'm a little overdramatic, but I really really hate doing this crap! And I also hate worrying about money and answering people's questions about what I'm doing for my retirement funds. Therefore, I've decided that they should also have mail-order husbands. I need someone to deal with money and whatnot for me, and I need him now! Why should I have to wait for a real husband who is ready to commit himself to me for the rest of his life? I can just buy someone to do all the money stuff and change the oil in my car and reach high things.

OK, OK, I know it's crazy... but a girl can dream, right?

that's a new one!

So my kids have been getting into more than the usual trouble lately. However, today one of the "issues" we had to deal with was just too hilarious to be mad. One of my kids came to tattle that another boy in our class had let a boy from a different class do his homework. The assignment wasn't hard at all, and the kid from my class was pretty bright, so it seemed a little odd. I called my kid over (we'll give him the pseudonym Timmy), and Timmy tells me that (uhh, we'll say Todd) Todd forced Timmy to let him do his homework. Timmy says he tried to keep his homework away from Todd, but Todd kept bugging him until finally little innocent Timmy relinquished his homework to be completed by Todd.
I asked Todd's teacher, and she said that it was probably an accurate story; Todd loves math and would have really enjoyed filling in the bar graph and completing the shape crossword I assigned. So apparently, kids are bullying my kids into taking their homework and DOING IT FOR THEM! Next thing you know, they'll be forcing lunch money on poor innocent wimps! What is this world coming to?!

Grief

Tuesday after school one of my (9 yr-old) girls had to call 911 because her dad was having a heart attack. He died that night. She came to school the next two days, and only missed on Friday becuase her family was preparing for the memorial and funeral. She didn't really cry much.

I don't know if her lack of tears are more of her simply not understanding the finality of her dad being gone, or her not feeling the need to cry... I know they were close though, and that is is upset and worried about her family.

I'm not quite 3 times her age, but when my dad dies, I'm not going to be good for anything for a while. I certainly won't be at school, and at the memorial I probably won't even be able to see through my tears.

But luckily, I've made my dad promise not to die until after I have a husband, so he'll be alive for a while yet!

If You Made a Million

This week we read a story called “If You Made a Million” and I had the kids write about what they would do with a million dollars. The responses were... interesting.

One girl said she would buy presents for her teachers, family, and friends, then save the rest in the bank to earn interest.

A couple boys told us they’d buy all the video game systems and all the games ever made, and they’d buy some candy too, while they were at it.

Another sweet girl said she’d give most of it to children in Africa who needed food, but she'd also purchase an elephant and a bed for the elephant.

A different boy said he’d help his mom pay her bills and buy a house (along with a few toys and games for himself, of course).

And one of my “special friends” (who was mad about having to clean up his game 90 seconds earlier than everyone else for yelling at the people he was playing after multiple warnings) wrote that he would buy as many bombs and missiles as he could to completely destroy the school and everyone in it.

Yep.

Mom

OK, so I'm pretty much a mom. I have never given birth, but I spend a significant amount of time doing motherly things. I take care of children all day during the week, I sometimes teach kids' Bible class on Sundays, I clean house, and I take care of my friends when they are dumb. I do all this because I didn't really have a good mother-figure growing up, so I learned to fill the role. Sometimes I get tired of being a mom though. I don't see how real moms do it all. Don't they get tired of being the only responsible one around who makes people be safe and takes care of them when they mess up? Anyway, suffice it to say, being a part-time mom is plenty for me. I am in no rush to become a full-time one. But props to all those women out there who are!

Spring Break Update

I used to think I could never be a stay-at-home mom, but I might be changing my mind. I find that I just get so much more done when I'm not working! Yesterday while my roommate was at work, I...

• vaccuumed the stairs
• swept our entryway and the kitchen
• swiffered the same areas
• cleaned out the bottom of the pantry
• beat out the rug downstairs
• washed, dried, and put away 3 loads of laundry
• ironed 8 items of clothing
• hemmed a pair of pants (with the iron-in stuff, but only because I don't have a sewing machine)
• filed my taxes
• reorganized some of my filing system (which I need to finish today)
• washed, dried, and put away a lot of dishes
• cleaned all the kitchen counters
• went to WalMart
• took a nap outside basking in the glorious sunshine
• read from my Bible
• read from a good book
• made a haircut appointment

I've always wondered why...

Today a couple teachers and I were despairing about how our 8 and 9 year-olds can't seem to color in one direction, among other things. A fifth grade male teacher walked by, and without missing a step said to us, "you know that's why tigers eat their young."

I've always wondered why animals would eat their babies. Now I know. It's because they are really bad at coloring!

out of season

Today I ended up at lunch with my roommate, her ex-roommate, and their gay guy best friends... I didn't have a gay with me, so I almost didn't go because I didn't want to be a fifth wheel. Kim said since we were going to Oaklawn, so we might be able to find a gay for me... When we brought that up at lunch, I discovered that I wouldn't be able to get a gay guy to be my friend, because they were "out of season." Apparently I missed out on the bandwagon and will have to do without. Sad day!

not a total failure

I managed to keep the breakdowns under control today (meaning under 10 minutes in duration, and no loud, class-stopping sobbing) ... And I felt good about my room and all the work the kids have done lately when 15 of my 18 kids' families trooped through for Open House tonight. I've decided I'm not a total failure at my job! woo hoo!

The comfort of a social work roommate...

So last night after a good cry, I did some cleaning (because getting my environment under control helps me relieve the stress from not having my children under control), took a bath, drank a glass of red wine, read a good book (well, two if you count my daily Bible reading), and went to bed before 9pm. I feel better about life this morning.

Better, except for the fact that when I told my roommate I was afraid I would physically injure the next of my children to throw a fit for a dumb reason because it was happening daily, her response was "Did you know when you took the job that there we going to be children in your classroom?..."

I responded that I'd taught daycare for years and been in classrooms since my senior year of high school. Even my 3 year-olds at daycare were more mature than a few of my students this year, and that was why I was so frustrated with my 8-9-10 year olds' behaviors. She just looked at me like I was a moron who didn't know that kids were immature.

I've decided to switch my anger and frustration at the children over to the roommate for a while. I don't have to see her nearly as often as I see kids throwing fits!

OUT of patience

I'm completely out of patience for crying and tantrums. I've never allowed them in my room, but they've happened all year anyway. I am to the point where I don't know how I'll react the next time one of my kids starts bawling because he (yes, it's always a boy for some reason) hasn't gotten his way, or he is having to face consequences for his actions. And that's pretty sad since I typically have at LEAST 4 tantrums a week. I hope I don't do anything to lose my job. So anyway, I'm praying for patience, but clearly my prayers aren't working. Maybe if someone else (who isn't on the verge of hating innocent children) prays for me, then God will actually listen to them.

Old Testament

I'm trying to read through the Bible in a year. So far, I'm only a couple days behind schedule, plodding along through all the laws and whatnot. When I don't feel bored to tears (well, usually more like bored to sleep), I'm wondering why there are so many required festivals and regular sacrifices and laws. I know (in theory) they were supposed to keep the Israelites holy and set apart for God (and clean and sanitary). But seriously, why were women "unclean" longer after having a daughter than after having a son? And how awful must it have been to be a priest - being covered in blood and sweat all day from slaughtering animals, sprinkling their blood, and holding them over an open fire? And what did the female Levites eat, since their men were supposed to survive off the food sacrificed at the altar? Anyway, if anyone knows a really cool Old Testament scholar that lives in the DFW area, hook me up so I can probe his brain!

One Month to Live

I signed up to take this class "One Month to Live" at church. It's based on the book by Kerry & Chris Shook. The first chapter asks you to quickly jot down 5 things you would do differently if you knew you only had one month to live. At first, I didn't know, then I came up with quite a few. I said I would:

• be better about keeping in touch with family and friends
  
• be more generous with my time/money/belongings
  
• worry less about what people think of me and if I'm perfect
  
• spend more time sharing God's love, and
  
• travel more
  

Now, I've only read the beginning of the book, so I don't know if I'll get inspired enough to actually do those things just yet, but I thought I'd share how I probably should change. It's an interesting concept that we probably don't consider as much as we should.

I'm a chicken too

I was looking over a book I love recently, and in it, there's a story that has been attributed to Rabbi Nachman of Bratslev or the Sufis. I don't know anything about whoever those people are, but I love the story and think it tells us a lot about how to relate to those who are suffering or just feel "different."I'll paraphrase and shorten:

To sum it up, there was an abundant, wealthy kingdom where everything was perfect, especially the only prince. Everyone felt he was absolutely perfect, until one day he was missing. After much drama, someone finally found him naked underneath the banquet hall, insisting he was a chicken. Everyone tried their best to convince him to put his clothes on, eat real food, or come out from under the table, but he refused to do anything but eat corn scattered under the table.

After all the wise men tried and failed, an old farmer woman decided to try to help him. She took off her clothes and climbed underneath the table too, telling the prince that she also was a chicken. They spent weeks under the table, talking about "things that are important to chickens," until one day she asked for some clothes.The prince was distraught and felt betrayed by his only friend, who had said she was a chicken also. She replied that she could be a chicken and wear clothes, and she stayed with the prince. He gradually accepted that and put on his own clothes also.

Then, a while later, she asked for a fine meal and sat down at the table to eat. Once again, the prince was upset and felt betrayed, but the old woman said she could be a chicken and still sit down to eat at a table. After some thought, the prince joined her. And according to the story, he started laughing. He went on to become the greatest king the kingdom had ever known, and everyone lived happily ever after.

Today I sat down next to a couple of my kids and moped with them for a little while (it was the class party and their parents weren't there). I think they should just get over it, like I did since my parents never came to class parties either. But to my little "chickens," the moment they are living in is the only one that exists. I try telling them to stop crying and pouting (which happens often, because more than a couple of my students are about as emotionally mature as 3 yr-olds), but they really only feel better after I sit down beside them and just let them be who they are for a while. Only by recognizing and sharing in someone's pain can we help them move to a place of healing.

"Choose Me"

So after feeling not very close to God for over a year, I finally heard his voice last week. He said "Choose Me." God never really says more than a couple words at a time to me (the last time I heard it he said "wait"), but those words seem unleash the dam of understanding in me.

I realized that I had been saying God was my number one priority, but then still trying to get all of my work and home and friendship responsibilities out of the way before I spent time with Him - you know, get everything crossed off my "to do" list so I could fully concentrate on Him... Yeah, that's not the way God planned for us to live. It's like the analogy where you put sand and pebbles and a big stone in a jar, and they only fit if you put the big stone in first. I'd been pushing my "God time" back so I would really concentrate on Him, when I needed to be really concentrating on Him first, and THEN focusing on the other stuff. I know that when I do that, then all the really important stuff will get done, and whatever doesn't get done probably wasn't that important anyway. I just forget that. And even now, after God told me what I needed to be doing, I still forget. I'm still struggling with thinking maybe I should call my friend first, in case she goes to bed early, because God will always be there, but I just keep reminding myself to "choose Him." I believe that with each decision I make with the right priority (I'd been a little off in those lately) that I will be taking a step closer to Him, and He'll take care of the rest!

I'm not old enough for this!

So I've been teaching for approximately 1.75 years now... But somehow I've got a college intern in my class two days a week, and I'm supposed to help the new long-term sub on our team lesson plan until she gets on her feet. I'm definitely willing to help in those ways, but I sometimes feel like I'm not old enough to work with adults yet! Most people probably feel like they're not old enough to work with kids yet, but I've always been a little backwards.

temptation

A while back, I wrote about how I needed to turn my life around and start actually fighting for God. Well a week or so later, I read Exodus 14:14 - "The Lord will fight for you; you need only be still," which made me question the wisdom of my previous conclusions...

I have since made some very big mistakes and given in to temptations that I should not have. I probably should have done exactly what Joseph did when propositioned by Potiphar's wife - run away as fast as I can, leaving whatever I had with me far behind. I didn't do this however, and ended up somewhere I did not want to be. But when I think about Joseph's successful evasion of temptation, I'm reminded that he STILL ended up in jail for a long time! He did the righteous thing and still might have spent a lot of time questioning whether or not he did what was best! Eventually, he was exalted to a place of obvious blessings, but he didn't escape some really harsh times.

So all of these thoughts leave me questioning what metaphor I should follow as I seek spiritual renewal. Should I fight injustice and ungodly ways, stay still and have God fight for me, or flee from the dangers that pursue me? Is it possible to do a combination of all three? Or is there something even more important that I'm missing because I'm so focused on my own failings that I cannot see God's glory? Man, I can't wait until I'm old and I've finally gotten some of that wisdom crap they keep talking about...

day off

So we were supposed to take a TAKS benchmark today, where our daily schedule is completely different so the kids can have the longest possible uninterrupted time for the kids to take the test. My lesson plans for the week revolved around changing all sorts of stuff because of the test, but still trying to get everything done. But today it was icy, so the district canceled school!

I was awakened at 5:40 (20 min before my alarm would go off) by a phone call telling me school was canceled. I couldn't believe it! However, after calling the next person on the phone tree and having both her and the teacher across the hall call me back and talk to me (I was on the phone 5 times before 6:30 this morning), I realized it was true. So I curled up under the covers and proceeded to savor the warmth of my bed until after 9am! :-)

Now, I probably should be working on school stuff because I'm so behind, but I didn't bring most of it home... So, I decided to bask in the break and relax all day! Well, I'm also doing cleaning and painting projects I haven't made time for lately (but our couch cover and pillows smell and look so much nicer now), but I think it's a wonderful day! Now if I could just muster up the courage to put on real clothes, venture out into the cold, and buy some of the essential groceries I've been running out of lately.... nah!

what's next?!

So I've been recovering from mono rather nicely. I'm still more tired than I'd like, and of course, ridiculously behind on work, but I shouldn't complain. I know it normally takes people a couple weeks of almost total down time to recover, and I only missed one day of school (well, and I left early on our "workday").

However, I noticed that I have hives on Friday. I couldn't figure out anything new in my life that caused an allergic reaction, so I headed back to the doctor (I'm afraid of ending up in the hospital because I've ignored warning signs like I did last year) to get checked out. Luckily, my blood test showed that the hives were most likely the result of my body still fighting off the mono, so I'm not likely to keel over and die any time soon. The doctor said it might last another 4 or 5 days, so I just have to walk around a little splotchy and take medicine to avoid getting too itchy.

I am starting to fear what unexpected physical ailment will befall me next, however. My coworkers avoid getting too close to me, my students worriedly ask me if I'm ok, and my friends and family make fun of me (once they're sure I'm actually ok, of course). Fortunately, a strange childhood has taught me to appreciate the weird and ironic in life, so I'm finding the whole situation rather amusing. However, I feel like the girl in A Bad Case of the Stripes by David Shannon (it's a great kids' book that I think you should pick up and read sometime), and I would like to know when I get to be normal again!

Arming for the fight

So last night I was thinking instead of sleeping again...
I consider this life a battlefield between good and evil, but I realized that in the past year or so, I've pretty much just taken off my uniform and started wandering around aimlessly, not fighting for either side. So I've resolved to get my life back on track and start taking steps to rejoin the fight on the right side (it helps that I know who is going to win!). I'm sharing what I wrote down last night, because if other people know about it, I'm much more likely to actually do it. Here's what I wrote:

I know it will take time and the help of my fellow soldiers, but slowly...

• I will put my spiritual armor back on and start serving God on the front lines again.
• I will use all the weapons God provides to vanquish my demons.
• I will focus on saving others' lives, rather than being distracted by comparing myself to others.
• I will rely on God's strength, because I know that mine is insufficient for the task at hand, but His can do more than I could ever ask or imagine.
• I will listen carefully for God's direction, rather than determining my own battle plan, for I know he sees the bigger picture, while I only have a shortsighted and jumbled perspective.
• I will surround myself with others that I know are willing and able to fight by my side and help protect me from the enemies, not just those who are entertaining or popular.
• I will admit my weaknesses and failures to God and those fighting around me, so they can know where to guard against potential invasions from the enemy.
• I will humble myself before God, for I am small and helpless and will surely be lost without his strength and mercy.
• I will not count the cost of the battle, but count and re-count the victories God brings, whether big or small.
• I will rest when the battle becomes to great for me -- retreat back from the front lines to bask in God's healing and renewing presence until He sends me back, stronger than ever before.
  

Still got it...

Mono, that is. I've tried to be positive and tell myself it will all soon be over, but this morning I almost fainted 1/4 of the way into church. Luckily I made it to one of the couches and laid down until I felt better (and someone came and drove me home before the sermon even started). I guess I need to be a good "sick" person and just stay in bed all the time like I've been told. Boo! :-(

Friday night excitement

Well, it's 8:30 on a Friday night, and I'm home alone on my couch. I don't remember the last time I spent a weekend night completely alone. I keep telling myself that I should take more time for myself (which I usually do on Thursdays: I watch my favorite TV shows, grade papers, do laundry, and clean the kitchen - all of my favorite things!), but then I end up agreeing to hang out with people, or I get bored from being alone and seek out something to do. So this sickness could be good for me. It could help me remember how to relax alone! That, in turn, should help me get better about being able to have quiet time alone with God.
There are more than a couple negatives about having mono, but hopefully there can be some positives too!

Irony

So I found out I had mono today... Then when I had a fortune cookie for a snack, my fortune said "You will enjoy good health; that is your form of wealth."
I appreciate the humor and irony in that. And I also plan to take it literally and recover from my mono in a week or less... Yes, that's right, I plan to kick the crap out of my mono!